Your mouth is God's brothel.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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