I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
