It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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