I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize