a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
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I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
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He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards