I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed