just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize