Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I need to wash the frat house off of me
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.