i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.