I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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