If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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