Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
he fucked my hip out of place.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
