Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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