If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
