DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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