We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
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she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
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He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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