Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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