Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
