Sober January is a disaster.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
