ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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