Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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