Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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