I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
