my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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