6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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