We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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