my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
