Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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