2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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