I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
