what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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