these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
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Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
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Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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