whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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