Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
