chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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