Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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