Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
