Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
