it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
