so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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