he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
