whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Who died my cat blue again?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
