i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
