meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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