She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
