Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
