I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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