Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
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Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
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I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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