i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
