I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
