I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
