You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
