I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I touched a dick in church today
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
