i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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