mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
