another moral hangover. fuck.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
