All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
