Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
The air was thick with penises
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
