Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
