I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Randomize
