i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
