I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
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I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
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I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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