I love watching others lives come down to our level.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I believe in your delicious
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
