Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
