Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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