I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
