glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
