I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
