Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
