3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
